I know what you're thinking. "Is this a story about a time that she asked for help and didn't need it?" To answer your question.... yes, well kind of. About two weeks ago I was coming back from an audition (we'll get into that another time ),when I received a text from my friend inviting me to her birthday dinner. I accepted the invitation and asked Darryl if he would like to accompany me. He took me up on the offer and we ended up having an amazing time. My friends LOVE Darryl, I me
an I love him too. Darryl is a good time. Like seriously, the most fun designated driver you will ever meet. He has a natural high that needs no assistance, it's really refreshing and one of the things I adore most about him. We really had a great time that night until... we didn't.
Lets back track and take note of a couple things.
#1 Darryl had recently added a pipe behind the washer/dryer area to minimize the chances of floor damage from a leak. With this new addition came a family...of mice. Now if you live in New York, you're thinking "And, so what?" My first roommates were mice." And if that's the case, then good for you, but I despise them. I know I'm bigger but it doesn't change the fear I have of them. In my head if a majestic elephant sees one and is like "WTF!" why should I be any different?
#2 When we, and yes I said OUI get ready for an event, we are like Cinderella's stepsisters, throwing clothes ALL OVER the place. When we find the right fit, we gather our accessories and head out the door.
So we returned home from a wonderful night to the pile of clothes on the bed. As I am hanging them up I see something furry out of the corner of my eye jump within the pile. At this point, it's an outer body experience for me! I'm down the hall but I still see a version of my body in the room. No but seriously I was deathly afraid. I asked Darryl to remove the rest of the pile off the bed. As still as he could be, he declined. I asked again, and he declined. Now listen, I have always believed that actions speak waaaaayyy louder than words. So in my opinion his still statuesque state, could only mean one thing. HE WAS SCARED TOO! So I did what any millennial young woman would do. I asked my mom. She came to the rescue, looked threw the clothes and moved them. Viola, I could finally rest. Accept while she was moving the clothes I heard smart ass comments coming from Darryl towards me. So of course, I did the most viable thing and made smart ass comments back. I also made sure to put major emphasis on the fact that he seemed just as frightened as I was.
We went to bed angry that night. I know you're not supposed to. I know that every married couple has received that advice; NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY. If you've managed to do that, congrats! I've gone to bed FURIOUS many times (but we're working on it.) The next morning we discussed it, and he couldn't understand why I had asked my mom to help me. He saw it as emasculating and degrading towards him. Honestly, the only thing that was on my mind is "who can save US from this mouse?" I didn't want to force him to do anything he was afraid of. He also assured me over and over again that he wasn't afraid, which took me a while to grasp. After he told me how he felt, I promised him that I would never say he was afraid of something again, unless he informed me of said fear.
Put your clothes up before you leave! HAHA! All jokes aside, be real about your fears. He chose not to do anything because he wanted me to "woman up" and do something about the mouse. While I was busy being superwoman, I forgot to mention to my husband the things that I'm truly afraid of, heights, mice and rejection LOL. If, I would have calmly explained to him why I didn't want to interact with our new guest he probably would've moved the clothes himself.
Leave your momma out of it. Now my mom is really good at staying out of our business. She doesn't even like to get involved. I drug like PULLED her in to save the day. I thought I was helping but I was really making Darryl feel inadequate which was not my goal at all.
So here's the deal, whether you're afraid or your partner is afraid- Hell, if y'all are BOTH afraid we have to learn to fight these fears or work through them together.
And to make the title of this blog make since... I purchased some slippers from Old Navy with furry balls on the top. I realized two days later the ball had tore apart and was now a flat piece of fur. All of that confusion and fighting because I saw a tore-up slipper in a pile of clothes.... You're welcome.
Be the fun you wish you were having!