I don't know if you saw the Wendy Williams show on November 30th or not.
If you did, you know that this is our FIRST official Christmas in our home, together, with our soon to be 10 month old. I took it upon myself to invite family to our home. Though some couldn't make it, my parents took up the invitation! Immediately our first Christmas turned it to "OMG this has to be the most PERFECT Christmas Ever." I've been running around in circles.... literal circles because my head has been all over the place trying to do and fix and clean and cook and buy and please- the aim to please issue is real.
My worst trait is procrastination by far. Two days before Christmas I realize Oakley needs a picture with Santa. I pack her up jump in the car with my mom and head to the mall. So I get to the "FEMA" Santa line just to find that we are two families away from the cut off point so the guard explained that we would have to come back the following day. That wasn't a problem for me, I had to do some last minute shopping anyway. I head to the grocery store after leaving the mall and while shopping realize that I don't have my phone. Once again not a problem for me, I thought to myself, "I left it in the car." I shop for TWO hours, pack up my car and ping my phone from my apple watch. No sound, no phone. Now i'm in panic mode. This is New York City, so the most wonderful time of the year can turn ugly real quick when you leave an iPhone 7 plus unattended. I rush to JCPenny's and they have the phone!!! Super grateful, I head back to the car and finish my errands.
Now here we are, Christmas Eve, and I still need a picture with Oakley and Santa. Darryl had a few things to pick up so he decided that we should all go together. We get the CUTEST picture with Santa that a 10 month old has ever taken but I still need one more candle. Pause- If I could jump into a time machine right now, I would go back to the moment we finished the pictures and rush home. Going to Bath and Body works led to taking my phone out of my purse to look for a coupon. Putting the phone down to smell the difference between Apple Cider Toddy and Frosted Cranberry. I chose the latter and I left my phone AGAIN. And again, I didn't realize the phone was missing until I was almost home. This time there was no miracle story of someone turning it in. This time it was placed in the sticky fingers of someone who doesn't believe in Karma. As I left the mall and realized my pictures of Oakley, our wedding day, my videos that I had yet to post and also back up to my icloud, my text messages and notes and so many other things were gone, my eyes welled up with tears.
I couldn't understand why I was being punished for wanting the perfect Christmas. Suddenly on my way home, I realized I was stealing Christmas from the one its totally all about. There was a little baby who grew to be an Amazing Man and sacrificed everything so I could choose between frosted cranberry or apple cider toddy candles, and right and wrong. I thought about the time when my mind immediately went to Jesus' Birthday and not finding the most expensive or memorable gifts. I was ruining Christmas because of this made up Betty Crocker, white picket fence fantasy. I love spending time with my family on Christmas, especially my Dad (no one does Christmas magic quite like him), and they're all right here with me. I thought about my friends and loved ones who have lost parents and how they would give 1000 iPhones away just to have one more Christmas or even just one more minute with them.
Sometimes we can have a little Grinch in us and not realize it. We compare ourselves to each other through social media. We make the holidays around gifts and parties and tangible things. Often we forget how easy life was before cell phones, and instagram and snapchat.
This Christmas I won't be able to take the perfect selfie, but I will be selfless and enjoy every moment with the ones who I love the most. Just like the Grinch my heart grew 10 times bigger and now my eyes swell with tears of joy, thinking about the One who loves me the most, sees beyond all of my errors and calls me His own. Happy Birthday Jesus. Merry Christmas y'all.
Be the fun you wish to have!