We are a couple so quite naturally we’re friends with other couples. Since four weeks into our relationship we have congregated with these two other couples (whom I adore). However these couples have been married for 7+ years and well..we‘re barely a year old (keep this is mind). Our friends decided to host a couples gamenight at their home and of course we accepted the invite!
The first game was a bowl filled with questions to strike up a conversation. Some were funny but most were “Adult-rated” haha. Darryl’s turn came around and his question was “what’s a deal breaker in the relationship?”. I snickered and said “Hope it’s not something I’ve already done.” Well, as a matter of fact his answer did relate to me.
He blurts out without a pause “Not doing anything.”
-as in not working, not contributing to the relationship, he continues to explain. Then PROCEEDS to say “Well it’s not her fault her owner just up and left the place she was working at.” (True story, we still don’t know what exactly happened to him.) At this moment I have on my WTF face and of course the wives are jumping to my defense. Now I want you to picture the kid who bullies everyone in school getting snapped on by the ratchet substitute teacher ( you know the one that only comes for one day and ignores the lesson plan, watches movies and gives the class extra recess?). Well that kid was Darryl and he quickly RE-explained himself and began to brag about my new blog. (spoiler alert- this is the blog.)
I tried to hide my discontent with the situation by joking along with the other wives. We continued to play games and I poked jabs at him. After all, the other couples were doing the same thing. Through my jokes and "roasting" I didn't take into consideration that these couples have stood the test of time. We’re newborns compared to those college grads!
Now this is where it really gets bad. We didn’t talk about it.. until 2 days later. In which I was enraged with 48 hours of bottled up resentment. That led to 48 more hours of “heated discussions“ which is a waste of precious time.
Don’t play “follow the leader” with people who have been married five-ever. They’re sticks and stones don’t hurt their bones because they are accustomed to each other’s B.S. They are also super secure in their relationships. Those of us little baby love birds are still working on our wing span. Take it easy on each other.
Be 100% honest with your partner when you communicate. How many times have we
heard the phrase communication is key? Well communicating a bunch of sugar coated nonsense and lies is pointless. True feelings might be hurtful but they won’t hurt as much in private as they do in front of others (trust me).
BE THE FUN YOU WISH TO HAVE!