Listen, I had big plans and dreams of how I would be this organized, structured, "by the book" parent. Well let me tell you something, Oakley has been invisibly flipping me off since birth (maybe even in the womb). The moment I think that I'm the boss and have everything under control, she brings me right back down to earth. Oakley is 2.. easily going on 37 and some days 75. I often believe that she embodies the spirit of one or both of my grandmothers. She is super sassy, funny, a tad bit stubborn (I'm being generous), bossy and can praise the Lord like nobody's business LOL. Potty training has been getting the best of us. I've read the books and taken the advice of several blogsperts (that's an expert blogger.. via the Urban Dictionary) and still she insists that regardless... she will potty when SHE IS READY! This is how I've been dealing with Miss Independent.
Reasoning
I know what you're thinking.. "Seriously Alex.. with a 2 year old?.." Um Yes! She is no ordinary two year old (whatever that means these days). She is a grown woman trapped in a toddler's body! The child literally came into the restroom with me pointed to my sanitary napkin and said "you need this one!". WHAT? Get out of my business! LOL
Gone are the days of "because I said so," that's just not enough for Miss Oakley. Lately, when I go into great detail about what I want her to do or not do, she either understands my point or opts out due to boredom. Either way my goal has been accomplished!
Negotiating
Y'all I am a full, pledged briber! If she has her eye on something, I use it to my greatest advantage. The times that she has used the potty it was probably because I was showcasing her Princess Tiana Crown and high heeled princess shoes like a Beauty on The Price Is Right. It's not always easy though sometimes she drives a hard bargain and renigs on her part of the deal...and I live to fight on another day.
Choosing My Battles
I used to see little kids walk down the street in New York, wearing the craziest outfits-princess dresses with rain-boots, pajamas, cowboy hats, you name it. I couldn't believe that their parents let them go to school or anywhere in public for that matter dressed that way.Well, I can believe it now. Those parents were simply surviving. I'm not that liberal... yet, but I do try to not sweat the small stuff which is tough for a Type-A like myself. I give her the same room as the law is supposed to, if she's not doing harm to herself or others I let it roll off my back. Now I don't tolerate disrespect (still have a little Ole school in me) but I do give her room to cultivate her own little personality, likes and interest. After all, no matter how old she acts.... she is still just two.
I needed to share this for the dreaming mom to be, or for the mom who thinks she's doing it all wrong! I think the only right way, is to know your child like truly listen and understand them, to make sure they are safe, protected and super loved, and to empower them to the best of your abilities. Just remember in order to do those things... you must first, survive.
So keep up the good fight and let me know how it goes!
Love ya,
Alex
