I saw a meme the other week on Instagram that tickled me because it hit really close to home!
I reposted the picture in my stories and made the comment: “I try my best to give fair warning LOL.” The truth is, not too long ago I was speaking the same words that I hear from moms-to-be or at least those who look to have kids in the future. All of the statements start pretty much the same…
“Well, when I’m a mom I’m going to do…”
“My kid will….”
“I’m not doing XYZ...”
If this is you, don’t feel bad! I was the single lady that would see toddlers on a grocery aisle and skip that aisle! Listen, I’m just two years in but I’ve already noticed the pounds I have gained from eating most if not ALL of my words that were stated pre-Oakley LOL.
Here are some things to consider from both perspectives!
To Each Its Own
As much as I thought my two year old daughter would have a strict bedtime and be on her way to Harvard’s Preschool of Law this fall, it hasn’t turned out like that. Somedays we eat more carbs than veggies and guess what… she’s still in the highest percentile for her age in ALL the good categories (woohoo!). What works for one mom may be a catastrophic to another. Also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not… but these kids.. are from a different world. Seriously! Oakley says things to me at the age of 2 that I would not have said to my mom at 18 LOL. So as much as we would like to "Judge Judy" another's parenting skills we have to take two things into consideration; I am not her and that is not my child. One day that may be you and your child may mirror the same exact behavior but until then we have to leave the judgey wudgey bear in the toy box.
Don’t Knock It Until You Try It
I love giving advice (when solicited), but I make sure to give disclaimers that include what, why and how. For example, I was sharing with a soon to be mom, how I increased my breast milk supply (what) after the NICU gave Oakley formula against my wishes (why). I drank 3-6 cups of Traditional Medicinal Mother Milk Tea each day, while pumping (how). Before I knew it, I was a milk machine LOL and had bags for days in the freezer. If you’re seeking advice, it’s important to keep an open mind and choose what’s best for you and your little one. If you’re giving the advice details make a huge difference!
It’s All Good
The beautiful thing about motherhood is the camaraderie and community it creates among mothers and those interested in becoming mothers. Sometimes after 7 dirty diapers, sippy cup rounds, cooking, laundry, work and everything in between I forget how cool it is that there is literally a piece of me walking this earth. I’ve caught myself a couple of times asking my friend Ashley (who’s expecting her first baby) “Are you ready for this?” That question usually occurs after an Oakley tantrum or meltdown. She will be ready. She’ll know her baby and how to respond just like I’ve figured out the mysteries of my own grumpy (at times) toddler. My job is to be honest, to encourage and uplift her as a new mother.
So, whether you’re like 25-year-old Alex (dodging strollers in Wholefoods) or like 26-year-old Alex following every mom Instagram page ever created, remember to take in what you need and leave behind what you don’t. Oh and please remember to share opinions when there is a need not a WANT. Let us be honest, continue to encourage and uplift each other.
Let me know how it goes.