Two people download the Tinder app and set the area radius and age range at the same settings. Both parties swipe right and Viola! It’s a match! This is our story. After 3 weeks on tinder and 3 dates equivalent to the porridge bowls of Goldilocks and the Three bears, Darryl felt “just right”. It was like a high school romance, we went on dates, talked on the phone until we fell asleep, worked out together and even had love task for each day of the week (SN: if you’re not a hopeless romantic get ready to gag).
Motivational Monday: Send each other an inspirational quote, message or video.
Tune of the day Tuesday: Send the link to a song that the other should hear.
Word of the Day Wednesday: Text a new word with the definition to expand our vocabulary
Thankful Thursday: Express what we were thankful for.
Fun fact Friday: Tell each other random facts about pure randomness.
After almost 2 years of dating he finally proposed! I was so excited to plan the wedding of my dreams with my “just right” bowl of porridge. If the author could have only changed the story to Goldilocks enjoying her stay at the cottage without the 3 bears returning home (like a bed and breakfast) then I would probably have pictures in my dazzling Kleinfeld Bridal Gown ON my wedding day. You know how her story ends,and for me my little bear was on her way as well and plans would have to change. We decided to pump the breaks on the lavish wedding and press the gas on finding a home.
Bing: December 13th we got the keys to our first home!
Bang: December 19th we got married!
Bong: February 28th Oakley Raye Davis was born!
Did we have time to enjoy the engagement? Did we have time to enjoy each other as newlyweds? Ummm NO we did not!
We didn't even think that the rush of all these life changing events had an effect on us but it did. I went from happy in love to momma mode in what seemed like seconds. Everything was about Oakley and even when we would bring up the importance of keeping each other first, neither one of us would act on it.
Here we were new homeowners, newlyweds and new parents letting tension and stress pull us further and further apart. I felt like I couldn’t say anything to him without starting an argument and he felt the same about me. The even crazier thing was that we were posting Instagram pics and Facebook posts like we were the perfect happy family. Some days we barely spoke to each other (which is easy to do when you have a TV in every room haha). I was losing my baby weight and thinking to myself “I’m a MILF, if he doesn’t want me someone else will.” I’m so glad that just remained a thought and nothing else. You see, I had forgotten about all the bowls of porridge that were too hot or too cold for me, the uncomfy beds (figuratively and literally) and that Darryl was “just right”.
TAKEAWAYS
Remember the things that made you two fall in love. If we watch anything with humor and laugh together I’m instantly attracted to him just like I was the first time he took me to see Kevin Hart. SN: ( The Unbreakabke Kimmy Schmitz may or may not have saved our marriage!)
Communicate exactly how you are feeling. If you’re overwhelmed,anxious, jealous, whatever it is tell your spouse. Darryl was annoyed for having to rush into buying a house. I was annoyed that we were basically having a shotgun wedding. Neither one of us wanted to be completely honest.
Make time for just you and your significant other. Ask someone to watch your bundle of joy for an hour or two and go out or stay in and cuddle. Just make sure you’re able to connect. And guess what? Touching each other actually helps!
I’m learning that Bing Bang Bongs happen all the time. It’s life. Even the three bears couldn’t leave their home without an intruder and poor Goldilocks couldn’t find a decent Airbnb. No matter how much is piled on your plate or bowl at once (pun intended) take your time and find your way back to “just right.”
As Always,
BE THE FUN YOU WISH TO HAVE
Alex