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Lessons from Married at First Sight, Whether You've Known your Partner for Years or Weeks!



I have to admit that reality television is one of my guilty pleasures. My mom and I are obsessed with Lifetime’s Married at First Sight. Each season we watch the couples who meet each other on their wedding day and then decide after two months if they want to continue their marriage or get a divorce. Insane right? I must say that this season is my absolute favorite. I don’t know if it’s because the couples are so intriguing or the Nola accents that make me reminisce of home. There are five couples and I have found that each of them ­–even though they’ve only been married for a couple of weeks are starting to highlight what makes and breaks a relationship.

Having the Same Intentions

One of my FAVORITE couples of this season is Amani and Woody! From the jump it seemed as if they dove straight into the deep end with no floaties on LOL. It’s clear that both of them longed to be a partner and really turn this “experiment” into a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Even when they don’t see eye to eye, both strive to find a compromise, which doesn’t make one person feel as if they’re always caving in. Personally, I can attest that my marriage certainly improved when we agreed that breaking up wasn’t an option. That concept made all of the disagreements and arguments pointless. We’re winning as a team...together, and staying together is the goal!

Tons of Laughter

Another couple that I’m obsessed with is Ameillia and Bennet. They both have super quirky and fun personalities, so it’s no question to why they were matched. Most of their footage consists of fun activities and tons of laughter. It reminded me of a slump that Darryl and I were in and he mentioned that I no longer laughed at his jokes. I thought to my sarcastic self “maybe because the jokes aren’t funny.” In reality that was a huge sign that I was no longer seeing him the way I did when we were in our honeymoon phase. That realization was not so great for the simple fact that we had only been together for 3 years and married for 1! I needed to see him as the fun loving, humorous guy that I fell in love with and not a landlord looking for my rent or in our case part of the mortgage LOL. We laugh more now and if we don’t think that either of us is funny, we find someone on YouTube who is and laugh together (LOL literally).

Figuring Out Finances

Not all of the couples hit it off like the previous two mentioned. Brett and Olivia have shown this season, how difficult the topic of finances can be. It is of the upmost importance to lay everything out on the table (credit, debt, expenses, etc.). Honesty is key, not just about the amount but perspective as well. Olivia is a nurse practitioner and has a higher income than Brett. She enjoys indulging in the finer things while Brett likes to save and invest in future endeavors. The conflict between them is real and made me remember a time where Darryl and I had our own money issues. Disclaimer: When I met him, I thought having $500 in my account after paying rent was #Goals. Darryl helped me realize the importance of saving, investing and building generational wealth. He was patient with me and though we had our share of heated debates, we were able to come together as a team sharing the same financial goal… (to take over the world LOL). The top leading causes of divorce are money and sex. Which brings us to our next topic.

PDA and… PDA

That’s Public AND Private Displays of Affection. The couple that aggravates me the most this season are Miles and Karen. My annoyance is actually rooted in wanting their marriage to work because from the outside looking in they seem perfect for each other. However, Karen is only willing to show minimal display of affection. I’m not to righteous to see that my frustration with Karen comes from our similar traits. Alex circa 2013-2014 was so unattracted to “nice guys.” I called them corny and would throw them in the friend box within seconds. Because Miles is emotional, Karen has shut him out since day one. Miles is patient but it’s only a matter of time before he gets “overly frustrated” (in more ways than one.) Affection and attraction go hand in hand with enjoying each other. Even if you’ve been in the game for 5 plus years a surprise smooch, pat on the bum or steamy make out session never hurt anyone! Or at least not that I’ve heard of…

Showing Vulnerability

The last couple is one of the most awkward and complicated couples that I have ever witnessed in all of the seasons of Married at First Sight. Even the experts were leery about matching Christina and Henry. The uncomfortable silence between them is cringe worthy! During their separate interviews both share how the other possesses undesirable traits. However, when real questions are asked, we find that they both suffer from insecurities from past relationships and experiences. Look don’t get me wrong, being vulnerable is hard but it’s necessary to really form a bond with your partner. Sharing insecurities and past experiences can create another level of intimacy. When I’m able to share things with Darryl it shows him that I trust him and want him to be a part of my journey of growth. Also it cancels out the silly notion that our partners can read our minds.

Clearly I’m a fan of MAFS, but I’m an even bigger fan of seeing relationships work! These days it is so easy to throw in the towel whether you’re on a reality show or not. Though reality shows can be entertaining, temporary distractions, it’s important to take from them that can improve your life. That way you won’t feel so guilty for binge watching afterwards LOL.

Let me know how it goes!

Love ya,

Alex

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© 2018 The Good Mom Bad Wife Created by: Alex P. Davis