During my entire stay in the hospital which was pretty awful, I was desperate to go home with my new bundle of Joy. By night three of coming home I was sleep deprived and I was feeling quite annoyed with the hubby. We discussed taking turns every other night- while he was off from work and agreed to do so. The first night I was ALL TOO EXCITED to get a sweet slumber, something I had not experienced in months!
What had happened was I would hear Oakley while he was dead asleep and I mean like literally sleeping so hard that I would check for a pulse. I would then proceed to wake him up and say “the baby is crying” and try to fall back asleep. I thought to myself “this is so stupid, waking him up after she wakes me up. Why is it that he can’t hear her?” The next night I decided to just wait it out and let her precious whimpers wake him up. That was the worst Idea ever. After minutes that seemed to go on FOREVER of her crying he still did not get up. Angry and resentful, I decided to get up and calm her myself. Why resentful you ask?
1) These were the early days when I was pumping my heart away just to get 2-4 oz of breast milk after 40 minutes just to make sure that he was able to wake up and feed her overnight.
2 ) After I woke up and began to nurse her, he wakes up and says “Why didn’t you wake me?” UMMMM Because IT FEELS POINTLESS TO BUDGE A HIBERNATING BEAR IN THE DEAD OF WINTER!!!!
He didn’t understand that his waking up or even just offering to do so was not fixing the problem for me which was lack of undisturbed sleep. And because of my exhaustion I didn’t see the “bright side” of his intentions. Two things could have happened: A) Explain to him in a calm, sensible tone what I really needed or B) What I actually did. In the most sarcastic tone possible I basically asked “Are you Deaf or hard of hearing or just not in anyway motivated to get up? I mean why tell me to rest, when I’m going to wake up anyway because you won’t?” Choice A probably, actually most certainly, would have been the best option but hey! I was a tired mama on the edge ready to explode and he was the clearest target.
ASK FOR HELP! The first moment of exhaustion I should have told, my husband, my mom, even my mother in law that I needed a break. It’s something about us empowered females admitting that we don’t have it all together. Asking for help sounds like nails on a chalkboard. However, there is strength and a sense of maturity in knowing when you have surpassed your limits.
RELAX! After help comes on the way give them instructions and LET THEM BE! I know it seems hard to believe but they love your baby too and are just as concerned with his or her well-being. Your ego will try to control things but if you listen to your instincts you’ll know when to ease off and when to intervene.
Oh, and maybe just maybe if you have a hibernator next to you like I do a couple of elbow nudges wont hurt either LOL!
BE THE FUN YOU WISH TO HAVE!